How to Wabi Sabi your life

Have you ever browsed through the internet and caught yourself in awe of how “perfect” everything seems to be?

From the latest in America’s got talent to flawless Instagram feeds, it’s easy to think of all the ways that we fall short. 

Perhaps we should be spending our efforts on achieving greater things and living “more interesting” lives. After all, there are places to go, people to meet, and things to experience.

But wait a moment before blasting a giant hole in your wallet in the latest of expensive pick me ups. Sit down and take a deep breath.

It’s time for a humble lesson in wabi-sabi.

What is Wabi Sabi?

There’s no direct English translation to the concept of Wabi Sabi, but in essence it means: beauty in simplicity “Wabi” and tranquil aging “Sabi”. 

When put together, the concept celebrates the pleasure of finding perfection in imperfection. 

Sen no Rikyu is Japan’s most famous master of the tea ceremony. People revere him for his devout practice of wabi-sabi because he incorporate its elements into his tea rituals.

It is said that he would never allow anything he does to appear too perfect, even going so far as shaking the trees to scatter leaves in his otherwise perfectly raked garden.

But even outside of the ancient past and traditional ceremonies, wabi-sabi can be practiced anywhere. Its core values live on after generations and are in fact, more relevant than ever.

Simply, wabi-sabi is everything that modern, media-fuelled culture isn’t. 

It means family dinners over fine dining; one meaningful relationship over a dozen acquaintances; a cracked teacup over fine crystal.

To understand the concept of wabi-sabi better, let’s see how it is applied to the different aspects of life. In true wabi-sabi fashion all it takes to get started – is nothing you don’t already have.

Wabi Sabi in the everyday

Sometimes, even the normalities of your average Tuesday can weigh on the senses. The gnawing need to feel productive everyday can impart unnecessary stress upon us.

To practice wabi-sabi, pause for a moment and ease off the pedal; soak in the bustling world around you. Take things slow instead and find enjoyment in the menial everyday.

In other words, learn to celebrate the art of doing and not the result. That means living in the moment and finding enjoyment in everything you do.

Stay in bed longer, savour your food, enjoy the sunshine on your commute to work and lose yourself in more of the things you love. Remember that nothing in life should be too pretty, or too precious to enjoy.

Wabi Sabi in what you wear

Perhaps unintentionally, the principles of wabi-sabi are deeply rooted in fashion. Most people instinctively understand the importance of understated elegance when it comes to our attire.

And if we forget, we are usually reminded that it’s better to dress moderately rather than boldly. Oftentimes in the form of a passing comment describing our tacky or attention-seeking outfit.

There’s a reason why the sacred law of never out-dressing the bride or the groom is almost never broken.

Instead, go a step further in your closet wabi-sabi by learning to appreciate timeless fashion, starting with the vintage and well worn.

Whether it’s the look of rumpled linen or old jewelry, shop for pieces that last long and never go out of style.

Less is best when it comes to the quality over quantity debate and having a small wabi-sabi wardrobe can even give the air of being effortlessly fashionable. 

Wabi Sabi in your relationships

At some point, we’ve all been guilty of trying to change the behavior of someone else. Most of all to the people we are closest to.

In the struggle to “fix” what’s broken, we may end up damaging our relationships. We may even grow resentful of the fact that others refuse to change.

Wabi-sabi in our relationships isn’t about tolerating the “imperfections” of others, but to embrace them. They are them because of these things.

Rather than dwelling on the negative, train yourself to focus instead on the many things you have taken for granted. After all, nothing lasts forever and it is especially important to value the relationships we have.

Know that nobody is perfect and it is always better to practice acceptance. They may mess up, fall down, get up and inevitably do it all again. And that’s ok.

Wabi Sabi in yourself

It is easy to fall short ourselves, especially in a culture obsessed with extraordinary things and people. 

Don’t forget to nurture that most important relationship of all – the one that’s between you, and you.

The first step to wabi-sabiing your own relationship is to be conscious not to fall into the trap of imposing unrealistic expectations upon yourself.

Sometimes, it’s as easy as taking a scroll through social media to begin the thought-train that we could, and should do better.

For times like these, find the unique beauty in your own brand of authenticity and imperfection. Even if we somehow do meet these high expectations, the experience only teaches us to impose the same expectation on others.

Instead, set yourself free by giving yourself permission to be you and be less judgmental.

So the next time you catch yourself dwelling on the don’t haves, serve yourself a gentle reminder nobody is perfect. Not even that 6 year old kid on Youtube rocking Mozart on the piano.

Wabi Sabi in the home

When it comes to design and architecture, there’s nothing that symbolizes wabi-sabi like the Japanese zen garden. 

Despite its flawless looks, few stop to appreciate that the garden is built by the most “imperfect” materials of all – naturally occurring elements found anywhere. 

No precision machined steel and definitely no carbon fiber. Just aged wood, plants, stone and water. Perfection in imperfection. 

At home we can use these principles to create the same relaxed but pulled together look. 

In fact, some of the most iconic decor styles like the shabby-chic farmhouse and minimalist living room rely on such forms of simplicity. 

To start, work with what already exists and upcycle old furniture instead of buying new.

A fresh coat of paint on that old wooden table, experimenting with asymmetrical textures, and bringing in aged and distressed elements will all take you a step closer to the end goal.

And when you’re feeling up to it, take time to declutter so you have more space to add elements that “spark joy” as Marie Kondo would say.

Looking for more ways to spruce up your home without spending a fortune? Download our free Timeless Living: How To Design A Classy IKEA-Inspired Home ebook for free here:

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